For most expats the attempt of "making friends" while living abroad on a two year assignment stops at "meeting people". With a time bound contract, time becomes even more valuable. To keep the energy level of meeting people at an efficient minimum (to safe energy to deal with an upset stomach, the heat, local bureaucracy and the likes) readily accessible networks of people are most welcome.
The problem is, a real friendship is like a puppy, a child, a romantic relationship. A friendship needs to be nourished, taken care of. It's a work in progress, a piece of art. A da Vinci is usually not handed over easily.
Abroad the people we meet first are our colleagues - the ones we can't choose but have to respect and work with. A common next step is trying to penetrate our colleagues' social network. That I find permissible only if language barrier and cultural differences are too big an obstacles to meet local people. I don't think it's healthy if our workplace becomes our only socializing platform.
In my experience there are two different types of "friendships" that develop from there:
It's either the convenient but halfhearted pretense friendship with people of the same skin color, language, and cultural background (interests and shared philosophies aside). Or it's the rare genuine friendship among people who ended up in the same place by interest, choice, and determination (skin color, language, and cultural background aside).I value quality. The genuine friendships do happen, even abroad. Just like any other friendship, they require energy and care. Like my friendship with Vera. She speaks my language - and beyond.
We met in the Philippines three years ago. Like myself, Vera was starting to work in the development sector. We'd visit each other in Cebu and Manila. Now, two years later we meet again in Manila. Vera as a project manager for the Collective Leadership Institute in Germany, myself a consultant for economic development in the Philippines.
We started off right where we'd dropped the ball... two years ago! More! Having grown out (or up?) of our personal and work-related issues from the past the conversations covered a vast spectrum of positive, intellectual, personal, philosophical, and silly topics. It's amazing what two years of maturing can do... to an individual and a friendship.
I knew the day would come where I'd have to exchange my homely baggy-clothes-and no-bra style for a more publicly acceptable outfit. Admittedly, for the past 4 weeks my style has been dictated mercilessly by function over form (sometimes to the extend of no form at all...). People who know me know that my taste can do better than sleeveless shirts and shorts. But, simply because my taste had a whim for fashion, my arms wouldn't necessarily be able to perform the task of dressing myself properly!
Now I wouldn't go as far as calling a bra a fashion statement... but please, all you female readers out there, hold one of your arms on your stomach and try to put on a bra. Guys, after you are done laughing at your girlfriends, try it yourself. For the fun of it!Buttons, zippers, hooks, belts - all those cute little accessories become a serious threat to your being on time for a meeting!Your hairband becomes your best friend - to keep non-compliant hair from constantly falling into your eyes. Because, tying it in the back is a task to be mastered in another 2 weeks (that's when your stiff joints will hopefully loosen up again and you can actually move your arm behind your head).Hook earrings are just... beautiful! Because, they don't require two hands to put them on! (I'm just so happy that on Philippines' beaches shell and bead earrings sell 5 pairs for 2 dollars! I have plenty of inventory!)Oh, and while you are shopping for earrings, make sure you get the matching necklace - long enough to easily wrap around your neck a couple of times!
Anyway, no matter how good the camouflage or fashionable distraction. Everybody will notice the bulky skin colored bandage on your wrist immediately. That's a tough one to accessorize...
Today's visit to my doctor yielded conservative optimism about the surgery he did 10 days ago. The current angle of the radius to the wrist is much closer to normal than it was before. Not perfect, but much better! Much is speculation anyway since the cobra fixator blocks the x-rays to get a good view on the fracture. That means, we'll have to wait until the healing process is completed, the pins removed, and the arm free of obstacles.This, however, might still take a while. The initial 6 to 8 weeks of the fixator just moved up to 8 to 10 weeks. What? Another 7 or 9 weeks with pins sticking out of my arm? This new date comes alarmingly close to our planned trip to Indonesia in April... Well, health first!In the meantime, he encouraged me to actively use my left hand as normally as possible. My joints have already become stiff causing pain when I move them. My prescription says to move my fingers, flex them, stretch them, hold a fork, and knead an old sock (in the absence of a stress ball). In that light I'm proud to announce that this blog has been typed with 9.5 fingers (my left thumb is still a bit lazy)! Now, who says that time spent in front of the computer is not good for your health?
How many ways are there to get from Manila to Boracay? You could fly, of course. You could also take a bus and some ferries. How about a sailing a Hobie Cat down to the beaches of Philippines’ most promoted island? Crazy, you say? Well, the 12 teams joining this year’s Philippine Hobie Challenge, did exactly that and approached the well know white beaches of Boracay from a less know angle, from Sybuyan Island.
The six day sailing event, from Lucena, Quezon to Boracay, covers roughly 200 nautical miles (about 360 kilometers). This year’s event, organized by the Philippine Inter-island Sailing Foundation (PHINSAF), was the 11th of its kind. Three Australian teams made their way to the Philippines to join this event. All of them well known to the Philippine Sailing community for their outstanding performances in previous regattas, in and outside the Philippines.
No other than Bob Engwirda and Bradley Wilson took home this year’s Hobie Challenge trophy, 10 and a half minutes before the team of Bruce Tradrew and Eric Tomacruz, and almost 25 minutes before the third placed team of Andrew and MJ Locke.
My congratulations go out to all of the participating teams. I can imagine that this year’s strong Amihan wind showed no mercy and required every skipper’s and crew’s sailing skill available to guide the boat safely through the open waters.
While all the sailors are celebrating their great achievements I’m sitting at home, staring at my broken arm asking myself how much more mistimed my sailing accident could have been?! I was signed up as third crew on the winning boat! Just imagine how much I could have learned sailing with two of the best Hobie Cat sailors out there? Well, there is always a next challenge!
I’ve always been a curious girl. I want to understand how things work, and why. If somebody presents me a ‘fact’ my brain immediately comes up with an endless list of questions to probe further. I can just imagine what trouble I was as a kid when my little world started taking shape.
My curious nature didn’t change over the years. My approach to seeking answers however did. My questioning technique improved manifold when I ventured into journalism. Equipped with the essential “Five Ws + H” I get what I want to know faster and more precisely. According to my anesthesiologist, my questioning faculty is intact even under sedatives!
When my doctor said my bone is not healing properly and that it will require surgery he started an avalanche of questions. Most of which he didn’t answer to my satisfaction. I sought a second opinion from a different doctor. He immediately impressed me with his scientific approach to explaining what’s going on. Instead of saying “I think you’ll recover well” he took a protractor, drew lines on my X-Ray, measured and said “You’ll lose 40 degrees of the range of your wrist motion if we don’t correct the displaced bone within the next three days”.
I understand that language. Now that he had convinced me that surgery is necessary, he had opened Pandora’s box! Rather, Jana’s box of questions about the procedure itself, the options for anesthesia (yes, there is an alternative to general anesthesia!), and various risks. He answered my questions patiently and the schedule was set.
Enough time for me to consult “Dr. Google” on the cobra fixator, and to track down my anesthesiologist to ask him about the nerve block procedure which I had chosen as an alternative to general anesthesia. He took his time explaining to me the short-term sedative that will “relax” me first, and the axillaries block, which will numb the nerves of my arm for 8 to 12 hours.
The last words I remember in the operating room were “If you feel sleepy now, just close your eyes.” I sure did – without my glasses on. When I woke up in the recovery room, however, they were neatly placed on my nose. Turns out, I had asked for my glasses during the procedure when my doctor showed me the X-rays of the corrected bone. Why don’t I remember any of this? Well, apparently, in the haze of sedatives and nerve blocks I had been asking too many questions on what’s going on! That’s when the dose of sedative had been cranked up to shut me up! I can just picture the two doctors rolling their eyes listening to my drugged smart-ass talk! Which, by the way didn’t end there. I interrogated my doctor again in the recovery room. How many pins had he put in? How long did I sleep? Was setting the bone a problem? Again, nothing I remember!
Although I wished I could remember more of the procedure and not have bossed my doctors around, I’m happy to know that asking questions has become an instinct which my brain performs even under the influence of various drugs!
What does a Philippine coffee company and an outdoor company have in common? Their advocacy to promote the Philippines and protect its environment.
The launch of Bote Central's first Alamid Cafe Xpress at R.O.X drew an interesting crowd of coffee aficionados and outdoor buffs to Bonifacio High Street.
The connection between coffee and outdoor activities might not immediately strike the urban coffee shop dweller. The customers of R.O.X. however – hikers, bikers, climbers, runners, and campers – might have come across a true coffee spring during one of their outdoor adventures: a coffee tree (which is actually a shrub).
The high altitudes of the Cordillera Mountain range in Luzon, the volcanic slopes of Mt. Kanlaon in Negros, and of course, Bukidnon and Mt. Matutum in Mindanao are not just perfect breeding grounds for the mild Arabica coffee. These places also make for great mountaineering ventures.
The more fortunate hiker might even have encountered a civet cat in the wild. This fluffy cat-like mammal is producing the world's most expensive coffee: the Alamid coffee. The civet was therefore the real star of the Cafe launch but shied away from the limelight. A true nocturnal she is.
Now, where exactly does the civet cat fit into the coffee value chain? Well, right at its first link, at the production of the coffee bean. Roaming the woods at night the civet cat is guided by its sweet tooth. Following its superb nose it picks the very ripest coffee cherries off the trees to chew the sweet red pulp. The coffee beans, still covered in a layer of parchment, travel through the cat's system without being digested. The beans leave the cat at its rear end.
That justifies the soaring price of 500US$ (21,700 PhP) per kg roasted Coffee Alamid? While some people wrinkle up their noses by the thought of drinking pooped out coffee beans, some coffee connoisseurs swear by the unique 'chocolaty' taste.
The cat provides a service to coffee lovers that can't be matched even by the most experienced coffee farmer: picking only the ripest, thus sweetest and most flavorful beans.
Since the cat is not being paid for it who is? Firstly, the villagers and coffee farmers who find and pick the droppings. (Unless the cat suffered from LBM the droppings look like a string of beans.) As compared to green Arabica or Robusta beans which sell at around 185 PhP and 120 PhP respectively, a kilogram of civet dropping sells for 1,100 PhP*! Secondly, the coffee company that roasts, packages, promotes, and ships the beans to a specialty coffee community around the globe.
Now, how does Alamid coffee help protect the environment? Since our furry cherry picker lives in the treetops of big trees, farmers now protect those trees to keep the civet cat in their neighborhood. (Since the civet cat is territorial, there is no need to fence or even cage it!)
What do I get out of an Alamid Cafe Xpress (which also sells 'normal' freshly roasted coffee) at R.O.X.? I can enjoy my favorite Philippine coffee while shopping for yoga accessories, climbing gear, and hiking boots! The latter I can’t wait to put on to explore Mt. Matutum and hopefully come across a civet cat!
* Prices vary from area to area and of course buyer to buyer, so please don’t quote me here.
I’m happy that the strong wind that partially caused my broken arm is the same strong wind that keeps Manila (relatively) cool these days. At least there is no flood of sweat running down the inside of my cast causing the itch everybody has been predicting so far. Keeping the inside of a plaster cast ‘hygienic’ is virtually impossible. Coming to think of it, the cast was molded over the aquatic remains of Lake Taal. We all know what a vivid biotope that lake is. This thought coupled with the information of a knowledgeable website on broken bones, which predicts “pale and scabbing skin” under a cast puts the brakes on my eagerness to have it come off...
But, let’s have a look at the one-arm effect on daily body hygiene. Let’s start with dental hygiene. Brushing your teeth is no problem once you managed to balance your toothbrush between your lips in order to apply toothpaste with the healthy arm. Try flossing and you’ll realize that one arm is simply not enough. If you are a frequent user of mouthwash, make sure you get a flat bottle – one that you can somehow squeeze between your plaster arm and chest to unscrew the top. I highly recommend plastic bottles!
Showering is a no-brainer as long as you either can keep your cast outside the shower curtain or are able to tie a trash bag (unused!) around it. Washing your hair becomes a challenge especially if it is long. I’ve been contemplating for the past week whether or not to shave my head. So far, I could restrain myself from shaving my top hair.
Less of a restrain but more of a handicap is the removal of unfashionable body hair in more delicate locations... It’s like trying to lick your elbow – certain acrobatics are simply impossible given human anatomy. If ever you do manage to bend yourself weirdly, chances are you just broke a bone. And how do you explain this to the ER doctor!? “Well, I tried shaving my armpit?!”
Now, before you think I turned into a smelly and overgrown creature within the past week of being incapacitated let me tell you I’ve two loving helping hands taking good care of me.
For most expats the attempt of "making friends" while living abroad on a two year assignment stops at "meeting people". With a time bound contract, time becomes even more valuable. To keep the energy level of meeting people at an efficient minimum (to safe energy to deal with an upset stomach, the heat, local bureaucracy and the likes) readily accessible networks of people are most welcome.
